My wife was out doing something frivolous this afternoon when one of them came to the door. A Greeble stood at my entryway, gently rapping and occasionally trying the handle for several minutes. The window next to my desk looks out to the front of the house. The Greeble only seemed to be distracted when I would peek out over the sill – but then the door tapping would continue.
He kind of shrugged and sauntered away, looking left and right as he walked down the driveway. It was when he reached the edge of the pavement and touched the gravel road that I popped my head all the way up and peered at his backside. On cue, he stopped in his tracks and spun around to meet my gaze. Did he sense or hear me? Why did he turn around!?
The Greeble bolted for my window, but the elevation, or lack of, outside kept him from seeing in – even on his tiptoes. I looked down at him writhing below the glass and cheap screen. Occasionally it appeared as if we made eye contact, but he never locked on, swaying his head and feeling the wall like a blind man. Then he really started to freak me out by smelling the sides of the house. Taking huge snorts against the painted slats of my home, he traced what could have been my outline from the other side of the wall. Sniffing and grunting against the house, through his nose-less face he found a spot he particularly liked and put his hands against the siding to brace itself and pressed hard inhaling deeper and with more vigor.
I ducked down truly afraid of what this beast might be actually looking for. I think it’s probably physically impossible to sniff oneself through a wall – but he was giving it a solid run for its money.
Finally my drum-playing neighbor drove down the road and parked in front of his home, having finished his day of underage mayhem. His own chuckles and laughter broke the frustration – he was obviously entertaining a guest he was having over… all this finally made me realize that the odor-hunting vacuum on the other side had fallen silent.
It took just a few seconds for me to make it from one side of the house to the other, finding my way to the front door and the side window, where I could scan the driveway and see my window from the other side. It’s a mean trick that these Greebles play – popping up from under this new window and beaming at me face to face – still waving his head slightly and taking in the fragrance of glass. This time it was gentle and appreciative, as if he was enjoying the aroma and… well, getting ready to dine.
When I made this realization he simultaneously decided it was time to meet me in person, reached for the doorknob and proceeded to assault the handle. Frantic now he fought the door but was losing. I desperately wanted to go and pull from the other side insuring that he would not draw it from its hinges – while I glanced down and see that the door itself is UNLOCKED! Eyes like saucers, I imagine – I began to cry. Literally right then and there, I knew I was only moments away from my demise. But as much as the house hates me – it seems more determined to keep me for itself. Several times the Greeble pulled the door open almost an inch, only to have it slam back into the doorjamb and bounce itself face first into the knocker.
That same vertigo from the attic began to set in and all I could think to do was scream. I don’t know what I said or what language it was in – but I ended it with a hearty “Go Away!” And opening my eyes found the Greeble to be gone. I don’t know where to – and I don’t care for now, but my front door is still sealed shut. Not that I want to wander around the neighborhood right now anyway.
LOVED IT!
Janice
October 17th, 2007